It’s that time of year when millions of children are filled with excitement anticipating the arrival of Santa and his reindeer. Letters to Santa have been written. On Christmas Eve, cookies and milk for the jolly fellow and carrots for Rudolph will be set out. But not in this house. We are now a house of non-believers. Last year Jack asked me straight out if there was such a thing as Santa. I held back for a minute. The truth would mean the end of the magic, right?
I was in third grade when I discovered my mom was Santa. I recognized her handwriting on my present, “To Michelle.” My heart sank. The next Christmas, being the oldest and most pragmatic, grown up in our house I forced my sister out of bed to wait in the hallway while Mom put the “Santa” presents under the Christmas tree. If only I’d known what letting go of Santa meant, I wouldn’t have forced the issue. I would have held on to childhood, to believing. I would have let Marcia believe, too.
I don’t know when Molly discovered the secret.
It might have been around the time when her father and I divorced, another ending to a fairytale. I know Kelly found out around the same time from her cousin. I was probably just as upset about the girls finding out as they were. This was just the beginning, no Tooth Fairy, no Easter Bunny.
So when Jack last year asked me this question, I wanted to lie. I wanted him to believe, so that I could, too.
I came clean though.
“What about the Tooth Fairy?” Jack asked.
“No.”
“What about the Easter Bunny?” Jack asked.
“No. No. No.”
I saw the future. We’d go to Disneyland and instead of being in awe of all the children singing, “It’s a Small World…,” Jack would hear the clicking of the puppets’ mouths, the piped in music, see the tracks under the boats. Instead of being scared and thrilled at the ghosts riding in the car in the haunted mansion, Jack would no longer believe.
Not believing meant the end of childhood, the end of magic.
But wait. I still believe in magic. Here is my short list of the unbelievable things in the world my kids still can believe in:
1. Love of a partner and best friend
2. Giving birth, having kids
3. Dogs like Chewy, Lupie, Reesie, Bear, and Gizmo and cats like Bautista, Mocha, Tiger and Moonlight
4. New Mexico
5. A Santa Ana day where you can see for miles
6. Chocolate
7. Peace
8. A belly laugh
9. Quiet and music
10. Holding a hand, kissing, a good hug
Maybe there’s not a Santa…maybe. But there’s plenty of magic.
Wishing you love, joy and magic of the season!
What do you believe in magic?
Currently there are 41,000 wild horses living in captivity. These women want to do something about it by building Love Road Sanctuary.
Years ago Robert Fulghum wrote an essay about how he learned the most important things in life in kindergarten. Below is an excerpt:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life -Learn some and think some; And draw and paint and sing and dance; And play and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world,
Watch out for traffic,
Hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990,
While I agree with Mr. Fulghum, I think I’ve learned more in the University of Life than I have in my eighteen years in school. Here’s the short list.
- Sometimes 2+2=3. This is my only explanation for my bank account.
- Love
- When you get knocked down, you get up again.
- Listen actively.
- Sometimes there isn’t an explanation.
- My children are my best teachers.
- Trust your instincts.
- Finding a handwritten note in the mailbox is awesome.
- Mean people suck, but 99.9 percent of people are good.
- Hope
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned at the University of Life?
Oh, it’s that season again. The shopping until you drop (or throw up). I’ve never felt so many elbows and short tempers in my life as I do around this time of year at the mall. It could be me and my humbug attitude. But what about those sales that lure you in and then it’s the ol’ bait and switch? Yeah, I came in for a cheap Nook and what I found was a plethora of SpongeBob Chia Pets.
This is the first year Jack doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. I’m surprised it took my 40-year-old-trapped in an eight-year-old body son this long to figure it out. But there was the question, “Mom, is there such thing as Santa Claus?” I looked into my son’s eight-year-old face and thought about telling him, “If you believe, then there is.” But then I caught his old soul eyes and couldn’t lie. Don’t get me wrong, part of me cheered at the fact I’d no longer have to stay up until midnight to ensure he was asleep to be Santa. But now I realize part of the magic is gone because Jack’s no longer believes in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.
Leave it to Kelly, my 19-year-old daughter, to embrace the season. She’s the one who insisted we get a tree. She’s the one who decorated the front yard with lights. She wrapped presents for her friends and put them under the tree. Kelly is thrilled when 96.5 FM starts playing holiday music the day after Thanksgiving. She’s reminded me of the magic of this season. Thank you.
So I searched for other sites to get me in the mood, and hopefully the will, too.
Sock Monster
For unique gifts for women in the middle of their lives, check out The Succulent’s Wife’s Holiday Gift Guide. I’m especially partial to the ila Wedge, Fletcher and Blythe’s-Handmade Sock Monster Doll, and charmed.design inspirational bracelets.
Great gifts that give back:
Common Threadz
Common Threadz. For each t-shirt you buy, they give a school uniform to a child in Africa or meals for a month.
Greater Good. This program allows 100% tax-deductible contributions to pass directly through to nonprofit causes. This program gives our growing community of donors a meaningful and direct opportunity to fund specific services for people, animals and causes in need.
Women for Women. This year, give your loved ones meaningful holiday gifts that help women survivors of war rebuild their lives.
Thank you to my fellow blogger, Susan, at Welcome to the Middle of Life who loves this season, and her blog helped to remind me why I’m fond of this season, too.
And if you still need encouragement, here you go…
What gets you in the mood?
Orville and Wilbur Wright Testing for Wind (1909)
I know. I know I’ve ranted about how the media and news focuses on the negative. I know. I know I told y’all it’s the reason why I don’t watch the news. But there I was yesterday sitting on my bed doing my make-up, because God knows I don’t want to stand in front of mirror for two minutes without some kind of stimulation.
The top story was the windstorm in Southern California. Headlines read, “Violent Windstorm Leaves Path of Destruction” and “California Residents Grapple with Windstorm Cleanup.” Really? Really?
They showed a local news reporter standing in Balboa Park and it went something like this:
“We’re going to go to Barbie Benton to hear how local residents are handling the threat of the violent windstorm.”
[Cut to the reporter in the middle of the park without one strand of hair blowing.]
“Thank you, Larry. I’m standing here like I have been for the last five hours and absolutely nothing has happened. This is bullshit. Why are we making such a big deal out of this storm when there’s nothing more than a breeze?”
I confess. It’s not the way it happened. But if I was the reporter standing there for five hours waiting for the wind, I would have said it. Essentially, “our neighbors to the North got the brunt of it. Power was out for many Los Angeles residents.” I think two or three houses were destroyed by falling Eucalyptus trees.
I’m not downplaying the seriousness of shut off electricity and destroyed homes. What bothers me is the focus once again on the negative. I know. I know. People won’t tune into good news. News that focuses on the blessed things that happen everyday. But this is the same argument people have used as the reason why healthy, fresh food isn’t offered to kids, adults, low income residents. They won’t eat it. Uh, they won’t eat it because fast food and junk food is CHEAP, a hell of a lot cheaper than healthy food. So I’m crying bullshit.
Imagine news that considered the cup half full instead of half empty.
Instead of saying there’s a 20% chance of rain, say, “THERE’S AN 80% CHANCE OF THE DAY BEING SUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL.”
Instead of saying stocks are down, say “WE’RE STILL ALIVE. INDUSTRIES HIRE EMPLOYEES. BANKS LOAN MONEY. PEOPLE GO OUT AND BUY LOCAL PRODUCE.”
Instead of saying there’s a 50% divorce rate, how about “50 PERCENT OF MARRIED PEOPLE STAY MARRIED?”
Instead of publishing the story about the seven pit bull mix puppies mauling a young man who was running in the foothills of San Diego, say “99.9% OF PIT BULLS ARE GOOD DOGS. IT’S THE OWNERS THAT SUCK.”
Imagine the news being about David Lynch donating $1 million dollars for veterans to help with PTSD or how Atlanta deputies refused to evict a 103-year-old and her daughter (age 83) or how unemployment in the U.S. has fallen and 120,000 jobs have been created. I’d buy it, and if you want to here’s the link to Good News Network.
What would be your good news?
